Sometimes the most ugly things can be beautiful

I didn’t intend to get as personal as I’m about to get.  But HPV is personal.  And the way you transmitt this monster is just as personal.  So my need to share something this intamate is unavoidable. be forwarned of TMI.

Last night for the first time since the “phone call” my partner and I had sex.  No I take that back, we made love.  it was probably some of the most meaningful love we have ever made.  I was scared and nervous.  I was scared we would start and she would ask to stop.  I was scared to not feel her against me.  I needed her more last night than I ever have.  And it was BEAUTIFUL!  She knew just how to touch me.  Just how to love me. Everthing that has been running through my mind disapeared for an hour.  She made me feel sooo wonderful.  I never thought she would want to touch me again.  She made me feel human again.  Alive, like a breath of fresh air.  She reminded me just how much we meant to each other.

There is a sex life after HPV!

I haven’t felt this ok with myself in a week.  When we were done we talked and she held me.  I made her read this blog.  She told me how she has my back and how yes she was scared but why should a phone call about something I had no control over change how much she loves me or wants me.  It was like someone told her exactly what to say and do.  I could never place a price tag on how she made me feel.

I hope that whoever is reading this has a support or a spouse like this.  And if you don’t please know that when you find true love, someone who loves you for all that you bring to the table, HPV will not be a big deal.  Don’t be scared to tell them about HPV or your feelings about it.   And if your with someone who can’t treat you the way I’ve been treated FORGET them.  She showed me just how strong our love was.  THAT is why I married her.  THAT is why I agreed to sign those papers.  If I wasn’t able to share my feelings with her and know that she coudn’t tell me how she felt about it, those papers would mean NOTHING.

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December 6, 2007. Tags: , , , , , , , . Feelings, HPV, Love.

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