Today was hard

It’s been on my mind all day.  I can’t seem to try and forget it.  I look at women we pass on the street and in the store, I look at friends we have, and all I can think is any one of these woman could be clean.  So why me?  I know alot of people have it, but why do I have to be included.  Why did I have to put my partner at risk.  She is the most amazing woman I have ever met.  And I could of unknowingly hurt her.  I’m sitting across the table looking at her now.  She has done nothing but hold me up and make me feel amazing.  I want to cry.  I want to ball myself up and just cry until the tears stop.  But I can’t.  I need to be strong.  I need to show my family how I can be strong and pull through this.  But it’s soo hard to do that.  I have so many other things on my mind and this is just a cloud that my mind can’t escape.  I look at her and I want to curl up in her arms.  Do
these feelings ever go away?

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December 6, 2007. Tags: , , , , , . Feelings, HPV.

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