Sometimes it’s the approval of others

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Sometimes it’s the approval of others that is what makes me ok for this.  I wake up some mornings feeling dirty.  My head spins to wrap itself around the fact that this is not a dream.  I have an STD.  Something that is not changing.  I feel ruined and dirty.  I feel like noone would want to touch me.  Its the response from others sometimes that mean the most to me.  Sometimes my mind is so weighed down by other issues and problems so when it comes to the HPV I feel like my mind can’t handle it and I feel in denial.  So when I’m hugged, kissed and loved it’s that breath that I need just when I feel like I can’t breath anymore.

So while we’re on the topic of approvals, ALOT of people are starting to read these blogs.  Which is exactly what I wanted.  I’m anxious to see what everyone else thinks.  I’ve had a few comments but short of that I feel like I’m typing these words to a bunch of strangers.  So if your out there leave me a note to say hi.  If your just reading these for comfort thats ok too.  Keep on reading.

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December 21, 2007. Tags: , , , , . coping, Feelings, HPV, Love.

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