3 Years Strong


Today is my 3 year anniversary with my partner.



February 27, 2008. Tags: , , , , . coping, Feelings, HPV, lesbian, Love. 2 comments.

Sorry it’s been a while

I’ve been stuck on what to write.

I still have HPV.  I still am scared of what the future brings.  I still feel dirty about it all. I still ponder over who gave it to who and who it could of been passed too.  I am terrified of my pap in August.  I still have soo many questions unanswered.

So when it comes to writing on here I haven’t been sure what would be appropriate and what I could actually get out onto a screen.  Sometimes my feelings and words are so constrewed that I cant even get them out of my mouth let alone type them. Although sometimes typing is easier.  But for these things they’re not. I do have a nice little post about why today is soo special, that will be next.

I just wanted to let yall know I’m alive and well.


February 27, 2008. Tags: , , , . coping, Feelings, HPV. 2 comments.

A little off topic.

I have a domestic partnership with my partner.  We never  got the civil union because all of the rules aren’t in our favor and it’s just plain not fair.


February 20, 2008. Tags: , , . Uncategorized. 1 comment.

Just a little personal.

Ok so if you really are offended easily STOP here.  DO NOT CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO READ THE REST OF THE POST.

You have been warned.


February 19, 2008. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Talking can sometimes be too much

 Sometimes it can be too little.


February 15, 2008. Tags: , , , , . coping, Feelings, HPV. 1 comment.

Test results

I just got back from the doctors.  They upgraded the Displaysia to CINIII which was scary BUT they got everything.  So it’s gone.  I still have and will have HPV.  I go for my next pap in 6 months.  I feel alot better.  I mean it’s scary to know I was that close.  And it’s scary to think it might come back.  It’s scary to not know how it will come back if it does.  But thats sooo far into the future.  Right now I’m ok, and for me thats all that matters.  I’m no going o stop blogging.  I will keep blogging news I read and any more info I can possibly dig up.  But for now, thank you soo much for reading all of my posts and giving as much feedback as you have.  🙂

February 13, 2008. Tags: , , , . Doc Appointments, Feelings, HPV, news, Test Results. 3 comments.

I’m back!

The inernet is FINALLY back up!!!  I go for my follow up and results today.  My partner also goes for her booster to the vaccine.  I am definatly a little nervous.  I had sex last night/early this morning and I bled a litle bit.  I had tons of cramping afterwards too, As soon as I orgasmed it felt like someone put a knife throughthe right side of my pelvis.  I plan on brining it up today a the doctors office.  Also and I don’t know if it’s related to this or not, but my hormones have been completly out of whack.  I’ve been having intense mood swings and when I had my period last week I grew more than the normal one or two, chin hairs.  And this past period hurt like hell.  it could just be my body telling me to fuck off.  First I had my LEEP, he same day I felt better I got the flu, then just as that started to go away I got my period, now I think I have some kind of bronchitis or such, my throat has been sore for almost two weeks and I’ve been losing my voice.  I just want one day that I feel normal and ok.  One day that I don’t feel like someone shit on me.  Just one day.

Everything elseis ok.  Our son is awesome and cuter than ever, My partner and I are awesome.  I finally have a group of really close friends that I can’t ge enough of.

February 13, 2008. Tags: , , , , , . coping, Doc Appointments, Feelings, HPV, sex. Leave a comment.

I’m cool and getting better

Now if only I could have sex.  I miss that soo much, but in due time.  The infection is gone.  Just in time of course to get the flu.  But even thats going away.  The emotional scars hurt.  I know that sometime it sounds on here like all I dooo is bitch and moan but letting it all out on here saves my family an ear full.  plus it lets others know its ok to feel this way.

It feels weird actually.  I know my body pretty well.  I’ve always known I was pregnant well before a stick could tell me.  So I can tell something is different.  It even feels different down there.  But it definatly feels better than it did.  As a matter of fact.  My partner and I were just saying how about 2 years ago I had said “Do you ever wonder if sometimes you might have cancer and they’re just not catching it?”  I had always thought something was wrong with me but that there was no way to tell.  I wonder if this was it?

February 4, 2008. Uncategorized. 1 comment.